Lately I feel like I am on a roll. Have you ever felt like the good karma is finally kicking in, but you keep turning around wondering if it is all a dream, and making sure your back is covered? It had me thinking a little this morning about something that happened long ago. Sometimes it is just so nice to walk on the beach, on a crisp winter day when no one is around and just think. Think of the past, present and future, but just think and watch. The dogs are running around, the wind is blowing, the ocean seems a little more restless in the winter -it sprays and spits, the sea gulls are swirming, diving, and trying to survive. On what is normally a peaceful adventure, it turns out to be action packed from a different perspective. That's art.
My creative side can imagine and feel that wishes come true. I see myself rub the lamp and I keep rubbing-nothing. I look for the message in the bottle on the beach, nothing. How bout that Jeannie? Is she anywhere? Don’t see her either. It is ok, I say to myself. Guess what? My good fortune already started, it just isn’t the typical three wish kind of fortunes, it is the “if I think it, I will be it variety”.
Wishes, or desires, are one of the defining attributes of my individuality. I am a dreamer, but not selfish with my wishes, I am usually thinking for the “good of the whole.” In truth, many people don't even know what they really want, much less how to accomplish their wish.
The idea of wish fulfillment is something which first entered my human consciousness at an early age. I was indeed enlightened, but I had an older brother who showed me the road to enlightenment. In fact, I think he was the Dali Lama in another life time. My mother would say Jesus though. I learned to desire long before I learned to speak. I can see myself forming wordless impressions of what I wanted, or didn't want. This is the earliest concept I have of the subject. But, these impressions persist, and they constitute part of the underlying structure which shaped my future wishes.
At an early age I developed scenarios in my mind, about what actions might yield worthwhile results. As an infant, long before I had any concept of what words meant, I found out the strategy to gain my heart's desire. It was a certain look, that smile-it got them all the time. At some point, words and actions became a connection to me, as I found that there is a word for almost anything I can do, or possess. Later, as I learned more complex behaviors, I supplied myself with phrases and sentences to describe them, but it was always that smile, the twinkle in my eye, no words could match it more effectively. It was this tools that aided me in obtaining what I wished to have in my life at that moment. On the other hand, where words bring me some things, they didn’t help me to obtain other things at all. Much is possible to achieve, or obtain, if we take correct action, at the right time and place. But a smile can win a friend, can make a friend and can calm down any unpleasant situation. It is true; a smile is worth its weight in gold.
The field of gold in which Andrew Wyeth painted Christina’s World was not far from where I lived growing up as a child. On any given Sunday, my father would pack us in the car for our Sunday drive. On these drives he would point out sites of distinction, and tell matching stories.
The fertile landscapes, the familiar old barns in shades of browns and grays, distressed and aged- they were Andrew’s world and now they were entering my realm. I was intrigued by the artist. My early art education classes from my father where my strongest wishes of desire at the moment and I swore one day I would meet Mr. Wyeth and maybe even paint with him if I was really lucky. A childhood dream and wish, could it come true?
As a constant reminder of appreciation for Andrew Wyeth’s art, my mother had my than favorite painting of Christina’s World framed and had it hanging in my little girl bedroom. I was only six years old, but I knew, even at that age how special it was and how gifted he was. Sitting on my bed for hours, I would become lost in the painting and knowing exactly where Christina had sat in the field of gold was even more extraordinary to me. Little girl dreams fade, and we move on to other aspirations, hopes, desires and goals. The painting was taken down and placed in the attic. Life went on and I grew up only to think of Andrew when I was taking my finals in art school. I went back for a short fleeting and fading moment in my mind to the first time I saw the field of gold with my father and I let it go.
A year after college, I had my first job in a tiny woman’s boutique in Ardmore, PA. Life was turning into the usual adult like situations and the smile disappeared gradually. Too serious was I. On a cold Tuesday in January of 1981, I sat at the counter of “my store,” and worked on time cards for payroll. Joni Mitchell was singing softly in the background about "Mornings in Morgantown," and I quietly hummed along, busily doing my paperwork. The door opened to the store and the cold wind ripped through creating a piercing chill as a cloud of snowy mist followed the two gentlemen walking into the building. I lazily looked up and couldn’t quiet make out the figures from the glare of the snow outside. I smiled faintly and said hello, while they walked over to the counter and asked for directions. When my eyes adjusted to the light, I realized that I was replacing the light of the day with the light of 100 years worth of talent and smiles. Standing there in a full length raccoon fur coat was Andrew Wyeth and next to him in a long black cashmere coat was his son Jamie. Brilliantly we all smiled. An artistic legacy was standing before me and my little girl dreams collided with my tainted adult views. All I could think of was “Andrew is here, Andrew is here”- I wanted to jump and scream, laugh at my foolishness and cry out of nervousness, but no one was in the store to witness my discovery. Instead I just smiled clear and bright and it sprung out of me like a fountain from a pool. If any moment in life can be defining, it was this moment, and I was the original village idiot. Thankfully I caught myself before I spitted out of my mouth the ever annoying words to any artist, composer, writer, movie star..."are you so and so..." duh.
And this is where my creative side can image a smile, in a field of gold, sitting next to Christina, having my father explain the painting to me and thanking Andrew Wyeth for creating the dream and Jamie for a wish that came true. The rubbing finally worked! The Jeannie finally came out of the bottle left on the beach and if you think it, you will be it sooner or later.
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